No more.

I want to change. Please help me to.

Moses

I got to start writting!

I have to record the things I have done and see before I become old. This will be my temporary diary until I get a real one. Life is not easy man! I have no idea.

Mess clearing in progress

It's really really difficult!!! Taking things out, sorting things up, planning where to place them, choosing things to throw. It's really difficult. I guess it relates to the parable of the lost coin, whereby the lady cleans get whole house to found that one gold coin and when she found it she rejoices with her friends. I want to find my gold coin too!!

Good never fails

First of all, to be very honest, I am still kinda stuck in my spiritual journey -which I definitely feel bad about. But somehow, when I read the bible today, which seem kinda just like a dull book for quite awhile, my eyes were slightly opened. I was like "wow".

It's kinda obvious but recently I've been amazed by the readings that I've made. One really good one was Isaiah 7:9, "if you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all". It touched me, it was a very personal verse.

I've been a Christian for easily 18 years, but I've only just begin to see God's awesomeness. I started this journey of soul searching with a prayer for God to guide me, I promised that will pray, fast and do all types of things to draw closer to God but I ended up slacking off, sinning and literally rotting. But God never gave up on me.

Likewise, I should not give up on myself.

Stand or not stand at all

If you do not stand firm in your faith, you will not stand at all. Isaiah 7:9b.

lost?

I was pretty lost the past few days. I feel as if life is kinda pointless. To be frank, I have no goals, no ambitions, no targets , nothing. Thus, I sincerely made a prayer, Lord, give me a goal, give a vision, give me a purpose.

After the simple prayer, I turned to my short devotion. It was about Micah's priest being taken away and left with nothing. In another words, goals, purpose all these things in the end ends up an empty shell. Who do I look to? Who do I turn to? God. He's my purpose. He's my goal. What else is there? I am convinced.

Broken down, built up

Becoming a man

Sounds cheesy.... But yes! I am officially 21.. Not Gannon say much but I really wanted to record my feelings and emotions on this 'special' day. It'll definitely be a rough yet fun day ahead. Rather, most of all I really wanna receive something from of this year. Gonna record every instance this day/week ;) God save the Mouses.. I just came tht up.. Maybe because i am drunk.. Goodnite!

Difficult..

What is difficult? How hard is hard? These questions bug me. Maybe that is why it would be a dream come through if I am able to really test how far can I go. Despite having such desire for a challenge in my life, I have never really done anything all out. I guess I am afraid of the success or failure. But just for once in my 21 years of life.. I wanna reach out my hands, stretch out my legs, shout at the top of my lungs, cry till my eyes dry up, run till my legs break off, lift till my muscles burst! ARGHHHH!! 

Year 3 sem 1 week 7.. I shall challenge you! I've raised the difficulty to hell mode by compiling all the assignments, involved in captain ball and... I will update the results of this challenge soon! 

Anyhow, it's been an eventful week. Learn lots of new stuff, met lots of new people. There was an incident that I particularly want to immortalize ( or until blogger shuts down) on the Internet. The first was about a car accident on 3rd of July 2013. It was a rare occurrence of rain in the morning, I was about to fetch Kharis for breakfast. Without looking in front, my car banged the car in front of me. There was a dent in his car. I, being afraid, parked my car and approached the owner who curiously did not look angry. I ran to him, asking of any one was hurt. He calmly replied, 'No'. Clearly being the one at fault I went on asking him is he rushing. Well, if he was, I wound gave him my phone number, if he wasn't, I guess We'll have to reach a mutual understanding. You can see a lot was running on my mind when I asked the question. Either it's becoming a trend or a consistent event in my life, everything was so simple? Well, that guy came to me, say its alright, went back into his car and drove away. Sounds familiar right? I was stunned! And shocked! And amazed! And in awe! And star stricken! 

Life.. Unpredictable isn't it :)

Till then.. The race goes on :)

Lowest point, but not giving up!

These few weeks had been a roller coaster journey. I have had many up and down moments, most probably due to anxiety as I was put in charged of the annual May semester CF Welcoming Night. I admit that I had not put in my best efforts in the organizing and planning of the event. Transportation, programs, budgets, refreshments, promo video, churches, registration, equipments and many more small details creeped up while I was living out my daily routine. I was so worried every single day. I told a lot of people that everything will be alright but I can't seem to find the peace.

To cut the story short, it was amazing. I can say without a doubt, God's hands were upon the event. If there was no intervention from God, everything will be messed up. Still today, 3 days after the event, I am blur of the the things that happened. Lacking of microphone, music stand, mic stand, amplifier, water dispenser, ice, bowl, lacking of cups. If God didn't helped me, who did? Thus, for the first time in my life I seriously thank God from the bottom of my heart. 

What is my response to that? Sadly, I have yet to change for the better. As I type out the words in this blog, I realized how amazing this God is. His love, His plan is just so overwhelming. Thus, I am also sorry I fell back to my old ways but I am not giving up!

Anyway, Aaron, Levi and Owen came to visit me during this week too. It was a very heart warming experience, just to meet up and catch up with the things going on in each others life. Thank God for them! :)

So what's next? :
1) McDonald's CHALLENGE 
2) One punch man CHALLENGE 
3) Bible CHALLENGE 

I'll just start with these 3 for this month. Hopefully I will update this blog more frequently. It's kinda cool how I get o reflect on the things that had happened. Hmmm...

A TRANSFORMED MAN

It's been quite a while since I last 'penned' down my thoughts and life. Many things had happened since then. Some of them are : 

1) I ran 21km
2) ...

All right, I forgot quite a lot of things that happened. Darn! I guess I'll need to update this blog as frequent as possible to not miss out any important events in my life. All right! At least twice a month.

Anyway, my semester break was a fairly interesting one. It started slowly as I was trapped in Kampar for the 1st week of my 2-week break. It was good though, life as how it is - no worries, no responsibilities, no purpose, no life. Well, you get the point, it was just lifeless. 

On week 2, I attended Transform camp organized by the UTAR CF group from Setapak. It was really beneficial, I've learn lots and lots of stuff, met lots and lots of people and had lots and lots of fun. And I got my 1st cramp over there. It was in the swimming pool by the way. There were lots of girls. So I got to hopped with one leg till the cramp wears off. Thank God that I got that cramp in swallow waters. (Why am I typing like a small kid? I have no idea. I guess that's how excited I am :) ) God keeps reminding to me how wonderful His love is every single day. The unfathomable love. Ah.. Amazing, just amazing grace and mercy.

There's the emo Aaron event. Apparently something unfavorable happened. But I believe God will guide him through this part of life and he will emerge much stronger and better than before. Thus, I highly suggest and recommend that every man should at least have 1 heart break in their life time - but I do sincerely bless those who got the right one from the start. 

Lastly, the last semester break meal with Kharis and Rosemary was a memorable one. It's simple straight heart to heart talk. Though we try our best not to touch each others sensitive spot, the conversations are meaningful and just right there from the heart. No one is trying to win over anyone. Just plain simple, sincere and warm. I thank God for all these wonderful people in my life. Amazing, just amazing grace. :) 

26/05/2013

The Return of the Frog

It's been awhile, the frog is back. I'll keep it short and simple. This post is to immortalize my triumph over my fears and failures. After 20 long minutes of staring and shaking, I managed to burst out   10 seconds of courage in catching the frog that lingered in my toilet. I have a feeling this triumph is just a beginning of something new in my life! To all the frogs in my life, I a, gonna find you, catch you and dispose you, one by one. If I can't do it today, I can't do it tomorrow either! Lord, hear me! 

15.06.2013

Life..

Life, it is something so tough, yet so fragile. So strong, at the same time so weak. So full of purpose whilst being meaningless. Living and dying. Joyous and sad. Sweet yet bitter. What am I doing in my life, you asked? I am still learning. But this word, life, it is something so close to me but I don't seem to be able to understand it. This life. What life?

Deep thoughts aside, I've not updating this blog for almost 2 months now. So I am gonna write what I did today. Carrots, pepper, chicken,  and onions. That pretty much sums up what I did today. It turned out a little salty but I am grateful that I am able to provide what I promised. 

Assignments, assignments and assignments. My target is to finish up everything by this week. I am also going to join a full marathon in Penang this November (not yet registered). It will be great.

Updates aside, I dedicate this post to the policeman that was tortured by the Sulu terrorists. You've made me see the world differently. I thank you for all your contribution. You've made me understand the reality of humanity. May you rest in peace.

Unforgettable Start to 2013!

All glory to God! There is no better start to the new than this. Exactly on 1 January 2013, I've the one! The one that kept me accompanied for 2 days, food poisoning. I am down with fever, diarrhea, headache, body ache and many more of their friends. And I would not exchange this experience for any other start. Anyway, I am better now, so I am going to dedicate myself to do lots of awesome stuff. 

By the way, I've managed to accomplished 33.33% of last years list of things to do and I am pretty proud of my little accomplishments. It only motivates me to do better this year. I have a feeling it will be a great year. More events, more activities, more goals, more fun, more God. It'll be great, until then, I am going to take my pills, just in case, my friend is hiding somewhere in me. :)

Dreams

Dream. What a beautiful word. Apparently, I realized recently that I do not really have any dreams. Say there is 4 type of people - Dreamer, dream seeker, dream chaser, and dream liver - I would say I am a dreamer for the last 6-7 years. Pathetic isn't it? Thus, I am going to transition myself to the next level, the dream seeker. I will find a dream where I will be proud and comfortable with. It may not be money or fame, but I do hope it will be a dream worth chasing and at the end of my life, I would say my life is well spent chasing an awesome dream. For now, I will continue to literally, DREAM ON!!

Colorful

The skies in my place are surprisingly beautiful the past few days. The clouds, the mountains, the birds, the rain, the plants, the flowers, the lake, the people, the grass and other inanimated objects, the colors are so vivid and bright. Everything I see is in high definition. Ah, if only I have a camera in my hand to capture these moments before its gone. Hmm.. Maybe I should get one..

Done! (Half-marathon)

21.1km -- DONE
AMEN, AMEN and AMEN.
3 o' clock in the morning on the 18th of November 2012, I with 8,999 other participants embarked on an adventure of conquering the Penang Bridge International Marathon's half-marathon category for the last time on the old bridge. It was undoubtedly one of my most memorable events for a long long time. Truthfully speaking, I was actually half awake throughout the run.

It was the hardest run I had ever ran. I've been running at least one 12km/ week for the last 3 months, yet I had never face anything do physically draining in my life. In fact, on the 10th of November, I did a close 17km with some of the TMM members. I thought that 21km would not be too difficult.

The 2 x 1km stretch of uphill along the bridge is both mentally and physically challenging. I am grateful for all the water stations available along the run, though it will always be overly crowded with other runners. I also thank God that he provide me with the endurance to run non-stop till the 18km mark, whereby I was literally wanting to cry by then. I was so exhausted and my feet are hurting. I walked for 500m and then continued to the finish line and voila, I completed my 1st half-marathon event in 2 hours and 23 minutes (a very satisfying personal record). Thank God for the strength He gave me, only He knows, how 'dead' I am when in was running.

There were also many inspiring runs. There is this guy doing a half-marathon on a wheelchair, there is this guy who looks about >100kg finishing a half-marathon, countless veterans running the full marathon, and of course a friend of mine doing a full but had leg cramp at the 20km mark. He was forced to walk the remaining distance.

Overall, it was an interesting experience. My leg is now 'rejuvenating' with sore and pain. Let's see, maybe I can do a full marathon at the new bridge next year. May God bless me!

Half a Man

They say the day you run a full marathon(42.2km) you become a man. Around 18 hours and 30 minutes later I, Moses, shall embark on a feat that I had never done before - running a half-marathon. Too add the excitement I challenged myself to run below 2.15 mark. This race will be dedicated to God. I am ready to move on to the next chapter in life. Half a man. I'll take it from now. 1 year from now, I'll be a full man alright! 

Determination

This is a word I never understood. Born in a family who provides me with everything, friends who help me in any situation, and a God that loves me in any type of circumstances. It is just fair to say I am born without any need to push myself further. What more the determination to achieve greatness. Nothing I do in life so far is a fruit of my determination. Most of the things I wanted to do is done half-way. So, today I would like to ask myself a question. Are you determined enough to take on the whole world?

Running 21km will be the on the 18th November. It seems that this will be the last marathon on the old Penang Bridge. Aha! My first 21 will be in the old one, my first 42 will be on the new bridge! Woohoo! Hopefully I will still be running next year! :)

Run, Moses, Run!

Countdown to PBIM : 18 days
Distance : 21km
Furthest Distance Ran : 12km
Training Status : Incomplete
 Contingency Plan : God's Strength

I pretty much know 21km is a little too much for me but by faith I believe I can!